Only Child
by Ink Dinkedink
Summary: I was a terrible person to stand there and glare while everyone else seemed so happy for you to be reunited with your sister. But I couldn't help it. Because no one wants a sibling taken away from them.


Golden Sun © Nintendo/Camelot.  
Story written by "Favri the Fisher".

**F**avri say: I guess this is kind of a companion piece to "The Promise".

* * *

**J**ust at noon, we sat on the hills watching over the refugee camp. We drank, joked and talked about the adventures we shared. Now you're gone and I can't find you anywhere. Kay says you'd probably left early with escorts just like Sheba, and she might as well be right. I feel silly for running all over the refugee camp looking for you, but I just wished you'd at least said goodbye before leaving.

Mum's cousin, Pontius, has offered us a place to stay in Bilibin. His son would pick us up in the camp today.

I sigh.

Moving to a new town and starting over from scratch would take a lot of effort and time. I wish I could visit you in Kalay sometime, but with all new responsibilities weighing me down, I can't see it happening soon. Perhaps it won't even happen at all. Travelling isn't cheap, and since I'm starting over with nothing, I'll probably spend all my time trying to make money and buy a house for my family. I can't depend on relatives forever; that would be both irresponsible and shameful. Of course, it'll be rough without your emotional support, but I'll pull though – I've survived worse.

You could visit me though, you have the resources, but perhaps you won't have the time. Lord Hammet wants to make you his heir. His _heir_! You'll return to Kalay as a _true prince_. There would be trumpets, and flowers would be thrown on the streets as people welcome you home as a hero. Kalay will look upon you with different eyes. You'll have thousands of admirers, and even more people willing to be your friend. I can only dream of you having spare time to visit a poor city guard or mercenary like me.

The evening sun shines brightly as I help Garet move the last crate of his mother's possessions aboard the Lemurian ship. Piers wants to ferry people to the east, but I've declined his offer – I don't want my second cousin to arrive here for nothing – it would be a bad start for the relation, and I expect to live with his family for quite some time. I move to the edge of the boat. I glance over the remains of the refugee camp. Everyone's leaving now and Vale will soon vanish from the map. Only the ruins will stay witness for what once was a village with people who once protected the secret of Alchemy. And years after that, even those ruins will be invisible, as nature returns to bury it in green.

Garet looks over my shoulder and points towards the camp where my mum is speaking with my supposed cousin. He wears a long cape and hat with a tassel on top. I can't see his face, but he seemed like a sophisticated person; he bows, nods and gestures the way to his carriage – hopefully it'll be easy to get along with him. Still, I don't care where Dad and Mum want to go. It's no difference to me – I'll be a stranger wherever I go.

Heh, I remember a carefree life before the storm. I used to think I'd be able to return to easy life after the misadventure. But now my village is gone and I've shown the worst sides of me during the last part of our journey.

I thought I could still connect to Felix as we did before the storm. He says he still cared for me deeply, so I suppose we're still good friends. But everything's changed, and I've come to realize it too. He used to look up to me. He admired me because I was strong and brave. And he was so childishly naive and pure, even though he was taller and physically stronger than me.

Today I'm both taller and stronger than him. And he is moody, and not cheerful at all. We've changed for the better, I guess, but we've grown detached from each other. I remember I used to be the one drying his tears, even though I was the one who caused them. He was so forgiving – he believed there was good in everyone and that I never was mean from the heart. Now he thinks I'm selfish and arrogant, violent and cold. And I think he's simply uncaring and blind. He doesn't trust me the way he used to. He doesn't need me the way he used to. Piers and Sheba has taken that place in his heart.

Remember how I got into a fight with him outside Contigo, after bickering about who should be leader? In the duel, I accidentally cut his hand when I disarmed him. He cried out, so I dropped my sword and ran over to offer him a healing hand, and an apology. But those two upper class twits pushed me away before I could even get to him. And he didn't even _look_ at me – he just let his new friends lead him away. From that moment on, I knew I'd been naive to believe in friends forever.

Felix dragged me up to the pedestal of glory on that goodbye feast the villagers held for in honour yesterday. We shared our tales. He and Garet purposely twisted the story to make me come off as a better person than I really was. Had I been two years younger, I'd have enjoyed the attention. But today, I told them I didn't want to lie to people, or lie to myself. I told everyone the truth, and only took credit for dealing the last blow on the "Doom Dragon", something Felix and Garet both didn't want to mention. I understand though – they didn't want to remind me of that painful event. They even want to forget it all happened. But I won't ever forget. I betrayed Felix and Jenna in the worst way possible, and everyone turned against me. Everyone save for _you_.

I knew it was Dad I fought. I overcame fear and hesitation, and decapitated the three-headed beast. I knew Dad would want me to do what was right. I knew Dad would want me to kill the dragon and restore his honour even if it meant his own death. I stood tall and emotionless as victor and said nothing when our family members all reverted to human form before us. Felix and Jenna dropped their weapons and ran to their parents, crying in hurt and confusion. But I stood tall, unmoved. I exchanged a look with Dad. He was in tears but also smiling – he gave me an approving nod before he gave up breathing. I felt as if my heart had been torn out from my chest, but I didn't shed a single tear. The situation went over to a cursing contest against the Wise One – everyone shouted about how cruel it was to make me and Jenna kill our parents. My head hurt of the constant yelling and I was an idiot to open my mouth and say I knew what I was doing when I lifted my sword.

There was dead silence, and then the hostility was directed to me. Mia refused to look at me. Garet said I was cold. Sheba said I was heartless, and Piers even went so far as to say I was "completely void of emotions". Jenna said I was a _murderer._ She screamed and would have hit me if Piers didn't restrain her. As for Felix, he held onto his parents's corpses and wept. I put a hand on his shoulder, but he abruptly turned around and punched out my front teeth. I couldn't dodge the hit, I never saw it coming. I never expected silent, gentle Felix to jump into a sudden rage and attack me. I staggered back and almost fell – there was no one behind to catch me this time. Felix stared at me, his eyes full of hate. He said that I was no friend of his. That was the last thing I expected to hear from a person I once considered my best friend. Well, what did he expect me to do? What could _he_ have done if I'd told him about the dragon? Would he have restrained me and let the monster run us over?

I wanted to yell at him, and I probably would have done so if I'd been a couple of years younger. But that day, I stayed silent and walked away. I put my teeth back and turned away from the rest of the group as they began urging Felix to fire the beacon. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. My eyes remained dry and my lips were glued shut. I wanted to cry for the loss of my father – why couldn't I? It was then I felt your tender touch. Your slender arms found their way around my middle, and I felt you press your face to my back. Your grip on the front of my tunic tightened. I heard a sniffle, a sob, and in the next moment you were crying. I made no move to show appreciation, but I knew in that moment I'd always have light no matter the darkness of life. In that moment, I knew I'd always have warmth, no matter how cold the world could be.

You were always there for me – even when everyone had turned their backs on me. You're more than just a friend. I've never said it, but you probably already know. You know everything about me. You know my past, my present and probably my future too – there's nothing I can hide. But I feel safe around you. There's no secret I can't trust you with. It doesn't feel like you're with me out of pity. I feel loved and wanted, completely. It's something I don't feel every day, considering the terrible person I can be. You'd probably say that isn't true. You'd say I'm a victim of circumstances, and that you can find a loving heart behind the cold shell that I am. You always make me remember I'm still human, even though I am broken after the journey across continents.

I'm not quite the chivalrous knight those gossiping townsfolk of Angara make me out to be. I didn't head out on this quest because that rocky thing with an eye told me to go save the world – I didn't even believe those jewels had the power to destroy the world, until I witnessed the light of Mercury! I embarked on that journey because I wanted to save my friends, _and_ because the authority figures in Vale charged me responsible for the theft of the relics. In other words, all I wanted to do was to save Jenna, ask Felix what the hell was wrong with him and clear my own name. Saving the world and becoming a hero was a nice bonus I used to look forward to, until the very journey proved to be too much for me to handle alone...

I had no feelings for the unfortunate Koliman townsfolk suffering from the curse. I went with the plan because Garet and Mia ran me over in a fight. Mia and Garet, paragons of justice and compassion respectively, reasoned it was our duty as Messengers of Good to help the people. I, on the other hand, reasoned all those people would die if we let those crooks run ahead and fire the beacons. Besides, why should I clean up Lord McCoy's mess, when _he_ should be the one offering his own life to make up for his crimes? And why should I go find the Isles of Legends, which might not even exist, just because the coward ruler of Tolbi wants to cheat death? _No_, the promise of finding Lemuria was just _a lame excuse_ to take Babi's magic ship so I could go find out what happened to Jenna and Felix. It's not as if he can _do anything about it_ once I left Gondowan!

So I had selfish motives ever since the beginning of this ordeal. I gave promises I never intended to keep. I lied and cheated to get to the Eastern Sea. So what? I'm no hero. I'm just a simple peasant warrior with very simple needs and wishes.

I even intended to cheat you out of your services when I first heard of you. A lost servant with a talent for getting secret information? Perfect, we just needed such a person to help us track temple robbers! But I expected to see a tall grimy man speaking in coins and numbers, not a troubled kid with powers he doesn't know the origin of.

I estimated your age around twelve or so when we met. You were so small. From your eyes, I could tell you were lost and scared of being alone in this world of strangers. I figured it would be wise to coax you into trusting me before we went into business, so I sat down by your table and talked to you. And as we talked, I found we had quite a lot in common. You were an Adept – a Messenger of Good, like me. You were alone because you were different, like me. You'd lost a treasure, and had been charged by your superior to reclaim it, like me. And you were worried you'd disappoint your father – just like me. It was a simple gesture – I put a hand on your shoulder – and you let all walls down. You looked at me earnestly, and said you weren't really the servant of Lord Hammet, but his adoptive son. You swallowed all pride and then got down to your knees and pleaded me to help you retrieve your father's lost treasure. You had such an innocent face. You clutched onto my arm so tightly and spoke as if I was the only person in the world you could turn to for help – how could I refuse?

I've never wanted to help a stranger so badly before. I saw myself in you – you were so soft-spoken and kind. You were nothing like the other upper class twits we met. You didn't have that typical arrogant facade. You didn't point at my direction, whisper and laugh about my despicable clothing. Neither did you look down on me because I'm a peasant or try ordering me around. You didn't throw money in my face or even offered a reward. You just said "please". And that little "please" was enough.

But people don't trust Telepaths, no matter how gentle and kind they appear to be. Telepaths are two-faced soulless liars. Once I found out you could read minds, I got scared. What if you were a spy those temple robbers hired and placed there for me to come by? I pushed you away. I might look strong and mighty to you, but my heart is that weak – it wouldn't survive another betrayal.

You got battered by those thieves. They threw you out in the inn corridor, kicked and spat on you, and I saw it. I was upset. I scooped up your unconcious form in my arms and brought you to the Sanctum. I cursed myself for not believing your words. I wanted to help you again, but I masked any act of kindness with mean words – I didn't want to give you any ideas, as I still didn't want to be associated with a potential spy.

You promised you wouldn't use your powers on me, but you didn't keep your word. After I retrieved the Shaman's Rod for you, you probed my mind when I let my guard down. I was so angry, so scared. Could you possibly have faked everything just to get close enough to read my mind? Did you go so far as to let those brigands beat you up to get my sympathy? Were you an agent all along? Were all those emotions and even your story fake? – fabricated to suit the situation?

I'm rash and unreasonable when I'm angry. But I had enough self-control not to strangle you on the spot that day. Your eyes – they told me a different tale when you pleaded for mercy. A part of me still wanted to believe I was wrong about you being a spy. A part of me still wanted to trust you. A part of me still stuck to first impressions. I let you go, but I wasn't sure if I did the right thing. I was still worried that you'd run to the temple robbers and report. I was scared of not being strong enough for the mission, and that my naivety could lead to Jenna's suffering and death.

But you didn't run to the temple robbers. You came back to me. You said you couldn't get into Lunpa City, and I quickly said there was no way I'd help you. You stuttered, but managed to say you didn't come back to request help. You said you were there to _help me_.

I laughed. I couldn't believe it. A boy who could barely stand his own ground was trying to help me? You looked so pathetic that day. I just wanted you to leave, so I taunted and belittled you, telling you to prove yourself useful first. You looked so confused and scared, and I sneered in your direction while you wandered around and tried to figure something out. You summoned a whirlwind, destroyed the enchanted vines holding down a blockade to the Goma Cave. Garet cheered. He said having an extra Adept on the team was a good thing and wanted to add you to the team. I hesitated at first, but decided let you join us, if only to keep an eye on the potential spy.

I didn't think you were bad company. But you were delicate like a flower, and fragile like a damn butterfly! You couldn't sleep on hard surfaces, made faces when you ate my food, and lagged behind on the journey. I was worried whether you'd make it alive to the north, since you began losing weight when we travelled; it wasn't too hard to notice since I had to carry you when you had chafed feet.

You told me you haven't trained your Psynergy before, so I taught you some basic spells so you could defend yourself. I never thought teaching you would be big a mistake – you just got in our way and hurt yourself. I always had to charge into flocks of beasts and monsters to rescue you to safety. And then there was that fight atop Mercury. You fired like a blind idiot, striking both me and Mia with lightning bolts. I told you to get off the field, but you didn't listen. It seemed like you did it on purpose to help Saturos win, so I cast a spell and shot a dart of stone into your thigh in a fit of rage. You crumpled to the ground, and then Saturos attacked you. He mercilessly slammed his shining sword down upon you, charged with Psynergy. And you cried out... _my name_.

And that was when I realized I'd pushed a person who genuinely trusted me to his death. Even though we all made it out alive, I couldn't help worrying about you the night I sat in the ward of the Sanctum. I figured I'd been too weak. If I'd only refused letting you join my mission, you wouldn't have been hurt. I was relieved when you finally woke up, but Mia was watching, so I couldn't comfort you. Instead, I promptly stated I was kicking you out of the team. You pleaded me to let you stay, and gave me so many promises of getting better, both in health and usefulness. It was hard to refuse your plea when you clung on my sleeve and begged through tears. I turned you down, but you got to stay because Garet and Mia had other opinions. Still, I purposely made life harsh for you to scare you away. I made myself look cold, heartless – even Garet began wondering what the hell was wrong with me. Yet somehow, you endured it all and kept following and forgiving me. You always saw things others didn't see. You were always there supporting, comforting. But as sensitive as I was, I thought you did it out of pity. I thought you did it just to _Hah-ha! _in my face. I smashed the food you brought me, and yelled at you that night in Kolima. I regretted it shortly afterwards, but I was too much of a coward to apologize.

Even after we reconciled and I accepted you as a friend, our friendship was shaky, built upon promises we never really kept. I said I wouldn't keep secrets, but there were always things I hid. You said you wouldn't read my mind, but you always did it whenever you could. You were always afraid you weren't good enough to be in the four man band, always afraid you'd disappoint me with your poor performance in battle. And I grew protective of you, so protective that I was treating you like a small child, even though you were at least fifteen years old. I always thought of my promise to Lady Layana – to keep you safe, take good care of you, and help you find your real parents.

It was my fault you took that step. I should have given you proper Psynergy-training instead of trying to keep you back from danger. When rest of us sought the the Djinn's favour, I cut you out from the deal – I was afraid you wouldn't be able to handle them and let them consume you. I just wanted to keep you safe from harm. I never thought you'd take offence and go your own way.

The Wind Djinn's powers were devastating under your command – I don't think we'd have defeated Saturos and Menardi so easily if you didn't perform so well. The spirits granted you the power of predicting the future as a bonus, which would have been great if they didn't try pushing you towards the state of insanity at the same time. You seemed fine at beginning though, smiling and happy. You said you could finally help me now, and not be a burden. I was glad, but still worried. Mia and Garet said I acted like an overprotective parent, but I noticed you acted weird on occasion – you were restless, and sometimes you talked to yourself. I asked you to stop using the Djinn once, but you were overly sensitive about it and yelled at me. It turned out the Djinn were conjuring up bad dreams for you, making it unable for you to tell apart nightmare from prediction. When things turned for the worse during the journey across the ocean, those Djinn conjured up illusions, and made you attack us for seemingly no reason. We had to tie you down, drug you or sometimes even hurt you to make you snap out of it. I watched over you, day and night, to make sure you were safe. But when the spirits almost made you stick a sword in me, you left the group to save us from further harm. You left alone, without any supplies or money; I figured it was a rash decision you would regret. I had to find you, or else you'd end up dead in the wilderness! Still, that day we found some clues about Jenna's whereabouts, and I was set up for a choice I never wanted to make.

I really wanted to find her. I missed her so much. Yet, I couldn't let you run off on your own. I promised you that I'd be your friend through thick and thin. And I promised to take care of you and love you. I couldn't just leave you like that. So I suggested to Mia and Garet we split up. There were big arguments, but in the end I won. I didn't fight. I didn't yell or throw a childish tantrum. I just said "please".

"Please. Please let me go find him," I said. "It's my fault he's in this situation. I've got to find him and bring him back."

"But what about Jenna? Have you given up-?"

"No! Never... But I can't split myself in two! We're running out of time! If we all go back for him, we'll lose Jenna and if we follow the traces to find her now, then I... _then I might never see him again_! I want them _both_ to be safe, _do you understand me?_ I can't do this alone. _Please_! Please go save Jenna for me, Garet. And tell her I'm sorry."

I've never begged at someone before, but I had no other choice. It felt as if everyone dear to me was being taken away. First my father. Then Felix. Then Jenna... and then you. Mia and Garet left me with half of the money, and some supplies. I promised to meet up with them as soon I've found you. Mia gave me a blessing to keep me safe from monsters. Garet told me to look after myself, be careful and watch my tongue. He said he'd never forgive me if I died on him or ended up in jail for angering authorities or powerful people.

I went to Champa where the citizens told me about a confused boy asking for the direction to Xian. I figured you'd try to get back to Kalay that way, so I hurried eastwards, travelling day and night, only stopping to sleep for a few hours. It wasn't hard to catch up, and when I finally found you, you were both relieved and scared. You apologized over and over, saying you should have listened to me, instead of thinking you knew better. You then said I was an idiot to come after you.

"I'm nothing but a burden!" you said. "I was a burden before we went to sea, and I'm now a danger to you as well! I-I... I should never had tried..."

"No-"

"No matter how hard I try, I'm still a burden..."

"No, that's nonsense."

"I-I _wrecked the ship_! We should've been in Lemuria if I didn't- d-didn't- Wh-why did you come back to save me? Y-you should've just left me to die!"

"_Quiet_!" I yelled, grabbing by the shoulder and shaking you. You turned silent, turning to stare at your shoes, but I didn't care.

"And where do you plan to go, _stupid_?" I continued, as loud as before. "You do no one a favour by letting the spirits turn you into a mad wizard. What's done is done and what we should do is try _fixing_ the problem – not _run_ from it! How would Hammet and Layana feel once they find out what has happened to you?"

I looked at you, earnestly, and shook you on the shoulders again, gently this time.

"Running from the problem won't help _anyone_," I said. "Do you understand? I'll protect you, from yourself and from those spirits. We'll find a way. We'll find a way to put those Djinn in their place. Just trust me. All right?"

I moved a hand from your shoulder to your cheek, catching a tear falling from your eye to my thumb. Your eyes were bloodshot, so red. Your clothes were dirty, even tattered. You must have suffered much those days alone. I pulled you into my arms, and pressed your head to my chest. You just cried. Cried and cried. You didn't even lift your arms to hold me. And I stood there, holding you, because I just didn't know what to say to comfort a person.

Freeing you from the spirit's grasps was a long and painful journey for you. I was there, but I couldn't do much to help. All I could do was to prevent you from losing hope and giving up. All I could do was to stay near whenever you needed me. In the end, you were the one marking your own victory. And not until you'd proven yourself the master of your servants could you truly own the gift of divination.

We were in a settlement on the west bay of Gondowan, when you had a bad dream. You were frightened and drenched in cold sweat when you woke up me in the night. You told me Garet and Mia would die – you said they would plummet from a tall tower and _die_. I told you it was just a bad dream, but you assured me it wasn't. To ease your worries, at least a little, I paid a sailor to take us overseas as fast as possible. You kept saying you hated your powers on the voyage. You said Garet, Mia and I were blessed with our respective elements while you were cursed with the Wind. You said your Psynergy had given you nothing else than pain and sorrow. But I told you of everything you've done despite your young years. You were brave, much braver than I was at your age. I said you had a pure heart, and knew how to use your powers for good – unlike those crooks who stole, kidnapped and hurt with their gifts. I said you'd be a great Adept one day, and even surpass me if you continued your training.

In Contigo City, we found our friends safe, treating the ill in the Sanctum ward. We also found your real family's whereabouts – they were dead. You wanted to see their graves; I thought you'd despair, but you didn't seem to feel any sorrow at all. You said you'd never intended to leave your foster parents because they raised you and loved you, but that it was good to know your roots.

We've grown close since we left Angara. I just didn't realize how important you were to me, until those savages from the north beat you half-dead and wanted the Mars-gem in exchange for your life. I would never give in if there was something else I could do, but one wrong move and that brute holding you hostage would snap your neck. So I made one last bet on that former friend of mine, who'd done nothing else than letting me down over the last year. I tossed the gem to Felix, told him I trusted him, gave him a threatening stare and then demanded you released. It broke my heart to see you slam your head against the floor another time. I _crawled_ over to you, pulled you close to me and held you. I think I even _cried_, not caring that Jenna and her friend were watching. You didn't blame me for failing to protect you, but to my surprise you smiled – you tugged me closer to you and just smiled that genuine smile I never see you give anyone else... except _her_.

Your sister – Hama. Shortly after our visit from the Jupiter Lighthouse, Hama revealed she was your sister. I don't know what came over me. I felt something knot inside my chest when you left my side and walked over to her. I was a terrible person to stand there and glare, while everyone else seemed for so happy for you to be reunited with your sister. But I couldn't help it. I just wanted to storm out and scream, curse and cry. Because no one wants a sibling taken away from them.

Why? Why would you just accept and forgive her so easily? Weren't you curious in the slightest about why your parents abandoned you? Because of a prophecy? I don't care what prophecy it was – you just don't leave your child to a stranger, and hope everything will be all right. What if Lord Hammet didn't keep the promise, or was a con-artist and instead sold you off as a slave?

Fine. Let's say your parents could predict your future. Fine. Let's leave the prophecy and the old past behind. But why didn't Hama tell you that you were her brother? She should have told you – _ages_ ago! She knew you were her brother when we first visited Lama Temple! How long had she known the truth? If you had a big sister... if you had big sister by your side, you wouldn't have been so alone. But no! – She didn't do anything about it. She was just fine sitting in the Lama temple while you were bullied by those who self-proclaimed "normal" people who called you a demon child!

Even so, I let you talk me into going back to that house a second time to see her before leaving Atteka. I hoped you'd find answers, and I hoped she'd explain herself. You asked her why she didn't tell you sooner, and she spoke to you in half riddles.

She said you played an important role in our mission, and that you'd be in Contigo City too soon if she'd told you to the truth too early. There was no concern or feelings. She didn't even want to talk to you. It was painful to watch you try drag out a conversation while she obviously really didn't want you in her presence. You began looking around the room, touching the furniture.

"This place," you said. "This place is so familiar... I feel like I've lived here my whole life."

She looked at you, smiled and then shook her head. For once she moved up to you. You winced and looked up at her when she placed her hands on your shoulders. You smiled to her, a smile full of hope and affection – the smile usually reserved for _me_ only. But she said:

"Look at me, Ivan. You're too sentimental. You would have given up your quest to find your true home, and we would all now be lost."

For a moment you just stood and looked at her without saying anything.

"What are you saying, sister?" you then squeaked.

"No, not sister..." replied Hama solemnly. "Do not think of me as your sister until you have fulfilled your destiny."

What was that supposed to mean? Were you not _worthy_ to be her brother yet? What kind of sister would say that to her little brother? I felt a wildfire running lose in my gut, and with emotions raging, I took a step out towards you and Hama. Felix stopped me though. He grabbed my shoulder, pulled me back and shook his head in disapproval. I stared back at him in disbelief, but I clenched my teeth and moved back to the line, averting my eyes to the door. I wanted to just get you out of there and away from your "sister", but I stayed for the upcoming discussion anyway. I didn't want to start a fight or embarrass you, but it infuriated me that Hama was all ears when it came to business. She seemed a lot more interested in talking to Felix and Kraden about the Elements, than reconciling with you about your lost family. Each passing moment, I saw you growing more and more upset. When Kraden tried being funny, you yelled at him, telling him to stop fooling around. I knew then it was a mistake to bring there. I cut the Element-discussion short, and suggested we leave immediately if the world balance was in danger.

"I got too worked up about seeing my sister..." you said to me, on the verge of tears. "Sorry."

"It's all right," said Hama then. "I'm happy that you cared so much..."

She didn't sound happy at all though. She sounded disappointed, as if she didn't want you to return for a second visit before the Light of Mars. She expected you to be some great savior and put everything else aside, including family. But considering how your parents cared for the prophecy more than their children's happiness, I wonder why I was surprised. You looked so sad and forlorn when I gestured to you to come with me. I tried to smile for your comfort, but I didn't touch you – I didn't want to give Hama another reason to think you were too weak to be her brother.

You held my hand tighter than ever when we went back to the ship. You didn't smile for days, and lost your appetite. You insisted on helping fuel the ship day in and day out – I had to drag you away to bed for the sake of your health. Sheba began picking on you for apparently no good reason too. I got into a fight with Jenna when I slapped that Laliverian brat in a fit of anger. The spoiled little princess was jealous you found your family, while she did not. Gods, if she only knew how better it would've been if it was the other way around…

The third night after leaving Contigo, you snuck into my room and asked to share a bed. Sure, I was fine with sharing. I just didn't understand why you'd make that request, since you used to say it was awkward, and rather slept on the floor those times we couldn't afford enough rooms when we stayed at inns. You slept uneasily that night, turning back and forth. I was miffed that you kept stealing the sheets, so I moved to the empty bed in your room. I never thought I would hurt you in doing so. In the middle of the night, I woke up to find you hugging onto me too tightly. Your arms were wrapped around my middle, and I could feel your nails clawing me through the linen shirt. I couldn't understand how I was supposed to sleep with _that_. I tried to turn around, but your hold was too tight. You let go when I began scolding you, and I was about to go back to sleep, when I realized you were crying.

"Heaven's sake, how old are you?" I began, but once I turned around and saw what a mess you were, I felt like I bullied you again. Putting a hand on your shoulder, I offered an apology.

"Hey, I'm sorry," I said, "I didn't mea-"

You cut my words and pulled yourself into my arms. You mumbled something in between your sobs, but I couldn't hear what you said. I've never seen you so upset before. You shivered and clung onto me, helplessly, almost _inconsolable_...

"A-am I n-not good enough to be h-her brother?" you wept.

"What?" I said, and pried you off so I could look at you in the eyes. "_Who_? What are you talking about?"

"Si-sister! _H-hama_… sh-_she-_ wh-what she said in Contigo-! She- she said-!"

I immediately pulled you close to me again. I pressed your face to my chest, stifling your words. I didn't want to hear. I couldn't make up decent lie to tell you that Hama didn't mean what she said back in Contigo. And I couldn't believe finding your sister would cause you so much pain. In that moment I wished I'd never accepted Lady Layana's task. In that moment I felt it would've been better if you'd never known your real family. Suddenly, while clutching you, I realized how rough I was to an already hurt person. I thought you'd be scared and was about to release you, when you slipped your arms around my middle and gripped onto my linen shirt again. Your breath evened in my possessive hold and you whispered something. I couldn't hear what you said, but I didn't want to appear inattentive so I said "good night". I really wanted to tell you to just forget you ever had that sister – Who would want a sister like her; telling her own brother to earn the right to call her "sister"? But I stayed silent – my bitter jealousy was the last thing you needed. And in all earnestness, what place does a _fake_ brother have in the presence of a _real_ sister? Still, holding you so close made me forget you're someone else's brother. For the moment, I forgot I was an only child.

I jump when I hear Piers announce the ship to be leaving. The villagers who were talking near the ship hurry aboard. Garet pats me on the shoulder and pulls me close. He pounds my back and then releases me, saying he'd miss the adventure we've had. I nod and I say we'll probably meet again someday, if fate wants it. He assures me fate will be kind to us since we've saved the world. I nod and make my way around the ship, getting off the boat on the other side. Some villagers pull back the boarding plank and I watch the ship lift from the ground to soar the skies. As I walk back to the refugee camp, I feel awkwardly alone. Mum and Dad were packing our luggage into our carriage parked by the camp when I reach them. Several carriages run past me for the south road, one of the coachmen even yelled at me to watch my steps.

I looked down the road. The autumn sun gilds the landscape just perfectly. It's a beautiful sight. I'll sure miss this place once I leave. I'd like to come back here to reminisce the good times of my innocent childhood and our adventures when I'm old.

Felix can fool the whole world he's forgiven me, but I know he hasn't. He might care for me, but I don't think he'll ever truly forgive me for almost shattering his entire world and taking his parents away. Had it not been some sick test of the Wise One, I would have ended up taking away everything he and Jenna had worked for.

I will never truly forgive Felix for running away instead of telling me why he wanted to fire the beacons. He says I wouldn't have listened back then, but that's a bad excuse. I would have listened if he told me Dad's life was at stake. The true reason had always been that he didn't trust me. I'm still hurting from the words he said atop Mars Lighthouse – even after he took everything back right after his parents could stand and walk again. What would he had done if the Mars Lighthouse hadn't saved them?

As for Jenna, she told Felix to throw the Mars Star into the beacon. I think she eventually came to understand how I reasoned when I killed the "Doom Dragon". Still, whenever we speak, we feel like strangers even though we've been friends since we were kids. It could be because she feels torn between me and her new friends, or simply because I've shown myself to be both scary and unreliable as a person. I understand though. Both she and Felix needs time to figure out if they can still love me after seeing my dark side. And until then, there will always be a rift between the three of us. It's for the best that we part, at least for now.

I sigh. I get into the coach and close the door. I sit down next to Dad and think of what a mess I am. I am a broken bird. Once, I soared the blue skies holding onto childish dreams; worriless and living every day to the fullest. But now my wings are punctured and I've carried the weight of responsibility so long I've forgotten how it felt to be free. I won't ever mend completely, but with you by my side, the pain had always been bearable. You were the person who held me close to your heart when all of Weyard had turned against me. You'll always be a little brother to me, even when you're not here.

But I won't set myself up for more disappointment. I know a bond weakens when friends stay apart. I won't fool myself to believe in forever friends again. Instead I'd keep my hopes low and let you surprise me when I'm old, frail, and maybe forgotten by everyone else.

Still, I find it likely that you'll one day love Hama more than you love me. After all, kinship is unbreakable while friendship can die. One day, I'll just be another memory in the back your head. I was childish and jealous the day I thought badly about Hama in Contigo, and I should die alone and friendless for wishing to take her place. But I can't help despising her for what she said to you in Contigo. Still, if she can see goodness in the Wise One who pitted my dad against me on the Lighthouse, then perhaps her own cold facade also hides a heart of gold. I do hope so from the bottom of my heart. Because if there's anything you deserve more than a fruitful life, then it is a loving, caring sibling.

* * *

_**H**__e jumps when the coachman opens the door to count passengers. For a second, Isaac stares at the young man with the familiar face, but before he could ask more questions the coachman closes the door and leaves._

"_What a small world," mutters the cousin and gets the horses moving._

_Isaac turns to look at his mother when the carriage begins running down the road._

"He's_ my second cousin?" he says. "Weren't we supposed to be picked up by relatives from Bilibin? Why's that Kalayan-"_

"_Bilibin?" says the mother and looks at the father. "Kyle? You told our son we're moving to _Bilibin_?"_

"_What?" says the father. "Pontus lives in Bilibin, doesn't he? Or was it Lunpa?"_

"_Sara lives in Bilibin! Pontus lives in _Kalay_ and Albert lives in Lunpa. Kyle, we have a lot to clear up to our friends now when they think we're moving to Bilibin."_

"_Your kinsmen are scattered all over Angara," says the father__ and scratches the back of his head, "it's hard to remember them all. But Kalay isn't a bad town either, or so I've heard. Son, didn't you say one of your friends is Kalayan?"_

_Isaac__ smiles to himself, but sways aside when the cousin makes a swift turn with the carriage and stops the ride. He curses, and the mother worries about highwaymen. Isaac leans towards the window, and his heart skips a beat. Many promises he'd given, but few he'd kept. But now, he remembered a promised he'd once forgotten, and only the gods know how much he wanted to be a man of his word now._

"_Yes Dad," says Isaac , as a sunny smile creeps up to his face. "I have a friend from Kalay. I have a very good friend from Kalay."_

* * *

**T**hanks for reading.


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